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Friday 21 May 2010

Jonathon Ross.

With regards to......*ahem*......'Wossy', this won't be as strongly worded as my other subjects. I do not despise this man anywhere near as much as I do Bob Geldof, Ashley Cole et al. In fact, I can easily say that I don't despise Ross at all. But he really does irritate me at times, especially with his tendency to relentlessly talk AT his interviewees rather than talk TO them. For fucks sake take a breather every once in a while and in the meantime let your guest talk!!!!!!!

I've come up with a new name for his show and I believe that they really should (definitely could) call it this: 'How To Not Get A Word In Edgeways on a Friday Night with Jonathon 'Can't Pronounce My R's Because I'm A Weetard' Ross'. (Make sure to say this at a high speed). Now, this may be long-winded, but when said quickly, it will be about as relentless as Ross' presenting style. I do think its a very fitting name also. I say this because it's stupid, goes on and on and over the top. However, the thing that makes it so suited to Ross is that it thinks its funnier than it actually is. JUST LIKE HIM.

He needs to realise that he's a presenter and not a comedian. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't describe him as unfunny because he can be humorous. However, Peter Kay doesn't need to worry about Ross as a stand up rival. Ross needs to tone it down a notch. I do think that his flaws are generally characteristics of the stereotypical chat-show host, but Ross seems to step it up to a higher level of irritating.

One of the things that annoys me the most about him is that he seems to have an incredibly high opinion of himself. Maybe he believes he's actually worth that ridiculous salary that the BBC gave him (I won't start on them, they're a subject for another day. These annoyances clearly contribute to his talking too much. But, I must say that I find it to be fantastic viewing when certain guests (most notably Noel Gallagher and Ricky Gervais) chop Ross down and make him look daft. Sometimes, its not just that they make him look daft, they don't even have to make him look daft, its the fact that he's made to look speechless. Its nigh-on bliss. Because not even he, "Gobby McGobberson", can muster up a response.

One of the worst occurrences of his constant yappin' was when Daniel Craig appeared on the show. He barely got a 'hello' in. I will use this as a fitting conclusion. HE IS JAMES BOND. SHUT THE FUCK UP ROSS.